A couple of nights ago while sleeping I remember laughing so hard in my sleep that I was actually laughing out loud. I was so incredibly happy. The laughter was not the kind you produce when someone tells a really funny joke. It was different…
The sound of my laughing woke me up which was okay because it was time for me turn anyway. Paraplegics have to turn in bed, it is recommended, at least every two hours to prevent pressure sores. I usually stretch it 2/12 or 3 hours. Anyway, when I woke up I remember almost being in a cloud of pure joy. I remember feeling like I just wanted to hurry up and go back to sleep so that I could maybe get back to whatever was happening while I was asleep. And so I fell back asleep until the next time to turn.
The next morning I was asking my husband if he remembered me laughing in y sleep. He did remember, although he said it did not really sound like laughing. Well, you know, what can I say? I was asleep! He also told me that at one point during the episode that it sounded like I had stopped breathing. About the time he was getting ready to check on me I was “breathing” again.
It wasn’t until last night that I remembered something… you see before I fell asleep that night my thoughts had turned to the girls, as they do almost every night. Although I’ve come a long way in the healing process with grieving, I started crying and asking the Lord to PLEASE let me have another dream about them, to let me hold them in my sleep, in my dreams….
I don’t know what happened. But all I know is when I woke up after laughing, I just felt like I was trying to hurry up and get back to somewhere I had been… I did not want to leave that place. I have never experienced anything like it before. I did not see anything in that “dream.” I did not see the girls, I did not see a big white light, or anything at all. But I could feel extreme joy. Joy like I’ve never felt. It was that “joy unspeakable and full of glory.”
Did I go to heaven for a few moments? I don’t know? Was it a weird dream? I don’t know. All I know is I have found more comfort since that night knowing that our precious girls are in that same joy and probably a whole lot more!
Living Life 